In A Fight, Who Would Win?

I think I may have challenged my niece's boyfriend, Tyler, to a fight. This is actually a good thing, which I'll explain later.

Amanda introduced Tyler to my parents and other family members at a large gathering at Canyon Creek last night. Although Tyler had met some of us before last night's dinner, he had never met my parents other than in a Skype conversation. For Amanda, this was an important step, as her much-adored Bubie and Zadie have played, and continue to play, a hugely important role in her life. Introducing Tyler to the matriarch and patriarch of the Heagle clan was a pivotal moment. I can assure you that Tyler was welcomed with open arms by everyone. How could you not love a man who was completely at ease posing in a giant wooden shoe on a recent trip to Holland?

So why the challenge to fight? This takes some explaining. Conversations at any family gathering often meander towards unusual and occasionally irreverent topics. Round about the time that the waitress delivered our prime rib entrees, the discussion turned to one of my favourite topics - In a fight, who would win? Roman and I play this game all the time. Doesn't everyone? I'll choose an opponent...it could be a sibling, friend, just about anybody...and ask Roman to predict who would win in a fight against me. Funnily enough, Roman always declares that I would be victorious in these imaginary encounters. Roman is a very smart man. To be clear, I have never actually faced an adversary in any kind of hand to hand combat, unless you count my adolescent years when my younger brother, Brian, and I had to share a bathroom.

Imagine my surprise when Tyler and Amanda both expressed their unbridled enthusiasm for my game and added that they, too, loved to play a similar game, albeit with slightly different rules. Whereas my game involved absolutely no weaponry, their game did, and not only that, their game was played...to the death! Wow! This was an intense twist on my idea where battles would be considered over when one person either fell down or cried. This was a whole new make-believe ballgame.

It was somewhere in the middle of this animated discussion that I challenged Tyler to a fight. Maybe it was all the red meat that we were hacking into with our oversized steak knives that fueled the fight fervour, or maybe it was just the fact that Tyler didn't want to say no to Amanda's Aunt Barb, but darn it, he accepted! We even set a date for the battle - Thanksgiving weekend, 2011, in the rustic surroundings of Clevelands House, Muskoka. Now what? Should I start the necessary training, brush up on all my Billy Blanks Tae Bo moves, consult with my black belt TP friends or study the art of distract-and-run-away? It's official and at this point, neither of us has retreated from the throwing down of the imaginary gauntlet. Sorry, Amanda, but your auntie has to fight your adorable boyfriend.

How is this a good thing, you may ask? From my perspective,Tyler fit in so beautifully with Amanda's extended family, that one of her aunts felt comfortable enough to challenge him to a fight. Hey, that's a compliment in my books! The outcome of this battle-to-be is still far enough off in the future that I'm not too concerned about it. In the meantime, Tyler, GAME ON!